What's bumpin' today

Not turning out so well.

The last 24 hours have been H_A_R_D! After a freak power outage midday, I lost a good portion of three projects I was working on. And by lost, I mean one of which was completely destroyed. Colors blown out, pixels rendered indecipherable....fucked up! This has happened once before, and I'm thinking perhaps there's some pretty major flaws in photoshop! Any case, I resolve to stay up until its finished! Not a problem! That is until your ex boyfriend shows up at your door in the evening, looking for money and a chance to just "sit down and catch up".
So, I was up until 3am working. Passed out on the couch, got to bed finally around 4:30...where I blurry eyed had to reset my alarm clock. Just to wake up this morning to constant phone calls and text messages...and finally, the cats having what seemed to be a vomiting contest! All this, and my coffee maker's broken, and it's Tuesday so I have to go get the nasty rocket fuel from the Grocer instead of the yummy, worth the trip into town, bakery coffee! It's only 11:05 and I'm spent!


There is something so magical about toasted french bread spread with goat cheese and topped with a runny egg and cherry tomatoes.
Now if only I could figure out how to get my coffee maker back to working properly!


Me: Ick, I'm so gross! I'm drippping! And I should probably just burn this shirt!
Leigh: You always know it was good night when you have to throw away your underwear!

Wha?!?! HAHAHAHA!!!!


Just danced my ass off for three hours straight! By the time it was done I was covered in a thick layer of sweat and it felt SOOO good! So nice to get out into the real world, yet still be surrounded by my comfort people. Coming home to the pub just felt...drab and flat. Even the beer tasted off.
Haven't eaten since breakfast, time to make a serious dent in that 1/2 pound of swiss cheese! Yum!



For three years I have been driving around in fear. Fear from a stupid little ticket I forgot to take care of that had assumed resulted in the suspension of my license, but being such a chicken shit, never did anything about, and just chose to drive minimally, and extremely cautiously.
I have been dreading this very day. The day I had to face up to all of it. The day my license needed renewing. I stood in line quivering. Wondering what that trip unto the window would bring. Shaking, I filled out the application, held my breath while she punched in my info...and had the biggest smile on my face as she took my picture! The relief of it all having been just made up in my head is overwhelming! Wonder what OTHER closeted demons I've been repressing that I should take a peek at?


Next time I insist on going to bed at 10:30...remind me that I WILL wake up at 4am. And under NO circumstances should I EVER AGAIN take a night time cold medicine in order to fall back asleep! I feel stoned! And shaky. And I have to go renew my driver's license today....and I just almost choked on my apple juice! Not a great start.


Step 2

And now that the great lifestyle cleanse has been is time for step two. The grocery revamp. I am wracking my brain for all of the recipes I used daily when I first got here....back where you wouldn't find a stick of butter, or a carton of milk anywhere NEAR my refrigerator!
When dinner was a roasted sweet potato tossed in Sea Salt (AH! Right! Sea Salt...), or my rip off of Faith's Rice and Salad from the Garden Street Cafe. (Avocados and tofu...check!) There's gotta be greek yogurt....and there's gotta be honey! But is that really all I ate?!? No wonder I was so skinny!


Healthy Cleanse

Still so much laundry to fold. But the end is in sight. Now to purge my unhealthy collection of Chronograms...

Just Putting it out There

There's no substitute for the real thing. Butter, sugar,'s just not ever the same. So go on your rendezvous. Experiment. Try to find something healthier to fit into your lifestyle. But you always go back to the good stuff. ;) It's pure scripture.

Loves IT!!!

Open letter

I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear this, but ending a long term relationship is complicated. Things get mucky. People need to give back things that they've come to take advantage of. This isn't high school. Its no longer a matter of passing a note at lunchtime breaking the bad news. Lives become intertwined when you make a commitment. And asking for possessions back is not a bargaining chip. Its simply how it is. Get up, give it up, and move on. You think there's ENJOYMENT found in calling everyday looking to collect more crap? Keep the extra toothbrush "just in case". Keep the saline solution and the contact case...because yes, we never do know. But it took three years to recoup what was lost the last time around. Big things. Mandatory things. Electrical things. Purring things!!! The least that can be done is to return that favorite cd that's been causing a void in daily life since it's been out of reach.
This wasn't a marriage. And the dissolve wasn't mutual. So cut some slack....Suck it up. Stop tormenting!
Life goes on whether you move with it or not.

And now....

go here and listen to the very first song "Shake it Like That".

Currently Obsessed With...

Damien Rice "9 Crimes"

Gov't Mule "Beautifully Broken" (I only used this version because I was there but I missed this particular song because...umm...I was busy doing something else. Anyway, you have to fast forward to about :50 for the music to kick in)

Kings of Leon "I Want You"

Phish "Waste" (This has been my song with Mike since our days of three am dance parties at the Mansion...but before that it was sung in my ear one night at my college pub during one of the hottest, briefest flings of my life. It's made me tingle ever since)

Eddie Vedder "Society"


Despite it all, I still really love watching Sex and the City reruns with Mikey. The man remembers details of that series that I don't even remember EVER knowing! And he links them all together, creating such a beautiful cohesive unit. My girlfriends and I just used to use it as a reason to get drunk on Sunday nights!


Suck it bitch!
I got this!


MP Mix

Spent the afternoon as I used to, back in the days when I was a happy, single lady...dancing her way through a Friday evening at home...just her, and her sappy i-tunes playlist, and a bottle of wine.
When I listen to these albums by Cat Power and Leona Naess and Damien Rice, I can close my eyes and erase everything that's happened in the last three years and take back that feeling of supreme independence and complete contentment with being alone. When all I needed was a sweet little melody and a paintbrush.
Today, the most dreaded hours of the day are when the sun goes down. I'm only happy when the sun shines. Maybe I need to rearrange the lighting in my house to reflect the change in my moods. I'm only happy while singing along to the familiar notes at the top of my lungs. Screw the neighbors!
Funny because this very mix was one I made for Mikey when we first started dating, but never finished so I never gave it to him. Then one night he found it, and so I played it for him...for me it was a reflection of songs that represent me and hold intense emotional connections. Most of them covers of classic rock songs, done over by schmaltzy, emotional, female singers. Upon listening to the mix...he looked at me with a new light in his eyes...every song I had chosen was from one of his significant soundtracks throughout his life...including his favorite song of all time. (Though most aging pot heads identify with Comfortably that was kind of a no brainer.)
Regardless, in light of the stresses that have been upon me the last few weeks. Today was a much needed trot down emotional memory lane. I can almost smell the resin in the air....
I love the friends I've made in this town with all my heart...but sometimes I long for those nine months when I existed in my own little cocoon, nursing a broken heart. Driving anonymously through town and marveling at the man who dressed like Jesus, and the guy with the shoulder length hair who always stood on the porch of the Black Swan (before it was "the pub") smoking cigarettes at 5, the two red headed guys who tossed a football back and forth across the street, and having no idea who lived behind all the closed doors of this town. When Tivoli felt larger. Unreachable. When the only knowledge I had of the river was crossing it to get back to Saugerties, to my safe place. Me and Munchkin against the world.
Maybe it is time to move...

The Bell Jar

Heredity sucks.



Because I am an asshole, and refuse to sit in a chair properly while at my desk...I just learned that sitting in the "perched" position, and trying to chair dance to techno music, results in me landing on my ass, amidst the rubble of a broken, piece of crap, $19.99 ikea chair! HAHA! But at least now I'll have room to bring my favorite piece of furniture home from my step mom's! A summer of refinishing lies before me, and I LOVE it!


Sandwiches are yummy! Cracked pepper turkey, hard salami and brie on a baguette....why don't I do this more often?


It's barely 1:30 and I'm exhausted! Mike woke me up at 10 to get the ball rolling, after I only went to bed at 4, and it's been non-stop movement ever since. And now that the sun has disappeared behind the clouds, I need a nap!
Ran the errands I've been putting off for grocery shopping. And as I put everything away, realized most of the food I bought was party foods! Fancy cheeses and baguettes, olives and crackers...hummus ingredients. And of course half a case of wine! Wonder what I'm subconsciously celebrating?


Up at 3:30...sucked into a collection of Pearl Jam videos with commentary.
I miss the 90's, when buying cds was a tangible thing.
Now its just file transference. Perhaps its time to renew the sound system in this joint. After all, April 2nd I will have the same stereo for 13 years! GOD!


I had forgotten, until today, that this bad boy has been laying in wait in "the store", still in it's box! Its been waiting there for three summers now...for just the right moment to reemerge and squelch the mourning I've been experiencing over losing my herb garden this summer.

Note to self...

Next time browsing for free downloads...remember to check that the first file name you chose does not end with the words "screaming orgasm".
I mean, generally.

Notes from the Bakery

Mikey - "I don't trust anyone who doesn't buy their clothes at Williams."

Melissa - "So, did Jerome ever...."
Pat - "First rule of Tivoli adventure club! Don't EVER talk about Jerome!"


Who doesn't love fortunes on beer caps?

Magic Hat #9 will always remind me of camping in the Adirondacks, eating mushrooms, and taking pictures of fire. And getting so sick of the sweetness I didn't drink it again until this very night. Freedom.
Lady GaGa is playing Terminal 5 on April 1st. Is it wrong that I kind of want to go? HA!



I find it hilarious that I put maybe 1/3 of my clothing actually in the dryer...yet I don't own a drying rack for the other bunch!



Aside from making an awesome new friend...nothing crazy to report.

What a difference

This day, three years ago, I first looked at this condo in Tivoli. And I can't believe I still live there!
This day, two years ago a good Samaritan helped me on the side of the road. The site of his face now causes ignites fury in my chest.
This day, two years ago, my best friends got married. I no longer speak to them.
This day, one year ago, the idea entered my head that I hated my job, and would love to figure out a way to work, if not from home, at least closer. Now I do.
This day, today, I'm wondering what sort of life changing event can happen.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!


Always a Surprise!

Last night, as Mike and I were fighting off sleep, we came across the Sex and the City reruns. And I learned something about this man I had only hear tell of. He is a Sex and the City WHIZ!!!! Seriously, within 5 seconds, the man knew which episode it was, what happened previously, and what was going to happen next! I was shocked! You never can tell....



I had no idea that OJ Simpson and Mr. Brady were in Roots. Where have I been?


Sipping on a new wine called Mano Mano with strong Thai/cilantro undertones. Watching ANTM photo shoots in Central Park bringing me back to stumbling through Central Park with Mikey after a concert. Scared and thrilled. An amazing night!

Hallmark Movies

Doris Roberts (the annoying Mother in Law from Everybody Loves Raymond) and Judy Reyes (Carla from Scrubs) in characters complete opposite from those they are known and loved as. Very interesting.

What I'm up To

The fruits of my most recent labors. Look for these designs at the high end wallpaper store nearest you!


You Give me Feva

Dreams that varied from disturbing to comforting. From being shipwrecked off the coast of Alaska with a giant storm coming to watching some of my oldest friends do blow with an ex boyfriend in my parent's driveway.
Just waking up to a lackluster snow "Storm". If this is the "Worst Storm of the Year" then we're not doing too bad.


hot lunch

If we had had lunch boxes like THESE when I was a kid, perhaps bringing a bag lunch would've been a bit "cooler".

Baby Bro

Watching Golden Girls.
LOVE LOVE LOVE that show! It was a college staple.
But I remember when we were kids, my brother, due to an uncanny likeness, always thought that "Rose", or Betty White, was our grandmother. That's right, for years he thought Nana was on the tv! So cute! I miss my brother circa 5 years old!

Rock of Love 2

Reality TV amuses me. But where the hell do you find women like these in the natural world?


Still can't find the moby song. I'm thinking, now, it might be Beck.

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