Night Night moon. See You Soon!



Bug Bomb

Hairy Mon is on a bug binge. He sits in the doorway to the balcony...waiting for a rogue insect to breach the threshold, and then chases it and catches it, plays with it, and eventually tries eating it! Hey, if it cuts down on cat food expenses. I'm all for it!
I realized my voice mailbox was full this morning, so I decided to go through and delete whatever it was that I had stored in there. Man oh man...was THAT a bad idea?!?! I was just taken on the most surreal trip down memory lane. Voices I haven't heard in years, but recognize in my soul...declarations of love...angry friends reaming me out...horrible renditions of Happy Birthday. What broke my heart the most was that I had it on Speaker Phone, and as soon as JR's voice rang through the air, Max came over and started rubbing up against the phone.
Guess mine isn't the only soul that remembers....


Monday Night Musings

I love me some random Tivoli nights! Went for a walk to the river at 6, intercepted by Tim, meant spending the evening down at the mansion, followed by a night on the town with my boy...I love him, and I love my town, and I love my friends. Even if DJ fell off the porch and freaked us all out!



It is only 4pm, and I have quite the full day!
Awake at 10...took a walk to town, walk to the river, over to Adams to stock up on garden goods. Planted my herb garden, cleaned my house, shopped for my wine and food for the "month". And now, I'm spent! What a gorgeous weekend!!!!



At least once a day I look at the clock and it reads 1:11...This has been happening for years. And I don't know what it is about that exact time everyday...but its kind of comforting.


Gorgeous day...home made iced coffee on the balcony surrounded by my boys and much still to do though, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, and that's when I shut down. Would love to just eat a brownie and disappear down by the river for an afternoon...


in her shoes

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


I drink to your health when I'm with you,
I drink to your health when I'm alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I'm starting to worry about my own!


Just so you know, if you're trying to woooo me back...discussing your bowel movements does not take me back to when we were close. In fact, we were never that close to begin with...
Tonight I told the story of how i got here. The story I never tell. The story of how the military changed my life...and the questions it may raise for the rest of it. I told S and G, and G suggested, "you should totally write this down, it's a modern love story in the making". And I just remembered that I did. 4 years ago I wrote a short story about how I ended a love affair with a best friend...entitled "The Boy with the Colored Hair". I then went on to write a sequel entitled "Because My Boy Got Drunk". Which is really where my grand love story began. I'm thinking of jumping back into writing. It was, after all, a huge passion for so many years. Just as he was. And now as I type, the words pour from my fingers, and I think I may be on to something. Watching these people that know me so well melt under the words of my story made me realize that I do have more to offer than I omit, and that I often don't even remember I have in me. And if the casual reference of "I lived in Hawaii" spurns such a great reaction...then perhaps I AM on to something....and perhaps my freshman dream of peaking in college was not a premonition but an abolishment of what could be if I roll over and die and get sucked into the day to day of those that I already pushed astray.




Lunch of roasted asparagus and potato croquettes! Now if only the sun would come back out.
Studying up for trivia...aka...perusing the gossip blogs! :) Thanks to Taun's friend Rachel for adding a whole new list of obsessions!



Met my time to make myself an actual dinner for the first time in a long time. Also, continuing on with the sweet tea obsession. This time sans vodka however! :)
My ideal wish list items are the entire seasons of sex and the city and friends on DVD....they're like crack cocaine for me!

Hard Work

FINALLY done with work....finally going to get to shower...this was a rough day!

420 post

I never thought a brownie could kick my ass. I was wrong.


I wish I had my tv in my bedroom....that would be "perfection"...
Dangerously smitten. This just brings it up to a whole new level.
Second round of brownies...and Rock Of Love sketch on SNL = Awesome!



Mikey gave me this song awhile back, and today was the first day the lyrics really caught my ear...and suddenly it all makes sense...

So betterman I am since I
Come into contact with you
And you taught so many things about myself
And you know this is true
But now we are apart and its all my fault
'Cos you know I need to be alone
Don't know myself
So why can I share me with you girl or anyone

Don't want to be a thorn in your side
Good woman
Always be the one
To make you cry
Don't wanna be that guy
Good woman

'Cause you deserve everything
And I got nothing so leave me
And I'll go away
Better off i stay
Far from you you you you you

'Cause you are beautiful

Beautiful woman

Now typical man
I am because you think
I want my cake and eat it too
'Cos say I can't be in no relationship
But I still feel for you
'Cos you are the greatest woman
This old man has ever met
You taught me about my soul
you shared with me your magic

Don't want to be a thorn in your side
Good woman
Always be the one
To make you cry
Don't wanna be that guy
Good woman
'Cos you deserve everything
And I got nothing so leave me
And I'll go away
Better off I stay
Far from you you you you you

'Cause you are beautiful

So betterman I am since I
Come into contact with you
And you taught so many things about myself
And you know this is true
But now we are apart and its all my fault
'Cos you know I need to be alone
Don't know myself
So why can I share me with you girl or anyone



Finally, after 13 years, I own The Score....

Pre 420 post

What EXACTLY does a Bob Marley Scented Candle smell like anyway?


I'm tired.
Truly tired.
While sitting down by the river in the sun yesterday I nearly fell asleep. There is nothing like the smell of water and shorelines. I miss cape cod.
Very nearly stepped on a deer carcass with minimal footwear as well. Foot literally stopped midair to realize where it was about to be placed...screamed and ran.
Plan to do it all again today...if only I can get through the morning, which began with texting back and forth with Mikey around 6:30...quick trip to the bakery for coffee, rather than the grocery store for 1/2&1/2. Laundry and cleaning in preparation for potential house guests.
Definitely need a nap in the sun with the waves and the barges and the thundering of the earth as the train rolls by. Yum.





I just spent the evening emailing with my very first (best) friend. My first sleep over. My first real life connection. The girl who taught me about sex. The one who taught me how to kiss. Apparently those connections don't go away just because you're adults. We haven't spoken in almost 20 years. But she will always be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And the one who convinced me it was a good idea to draw makeup on my corn silk cabbage patch kid in order to take her from child to teen. The one who dropped me when she hit high school, because I was still in middle school, and no longer cool enough. But the one that I always looked to for approval when ever I made any sort of social move, because she was, in my mind, the bee's knees....and making plans to meet up now, in our adulthood, while our mother's are still best friends just seems like history repeating...



Funny the way it is
Make you think about it
Somebodies going hungry
And someone else is eating out
Funny the way it is
Not right or wrong
Somebodies heart is broken
And it becomes your favorite song

It's only WHAT?

Out of bed and at the bakery by 8am. Coffee and baguette in hand, reliving old times while listening to WDST morning show...trying to win Dead tickets for this weekend...why I'm not sure...but the hour has dragged by.
Already finished all of the work I had to wrap up...but it's too early to contact anyone.
I hate when my computer dings for no reason. Or perhaps there is, but I don't know of it. So I check every open window and tab to see which is offering me some new piece of information...but inevitably...there is nothing, and I most likely just hit the button with the little flying windows symbol between the ctrl and alt keys...what IS that thing anyway?


I really just can't....

When I walked in tonight, all happy and stuffed from family Easter, I was not expecting the bomb that was dropped. And its too late to talk to my mom, or friends, because its 10:30 on a Sunday night, and yet my heart is broken. The landscape of my life has just dramatically changed and the forged images in my mind will not allow sleep, of that I am sure. Mistakes I have made, I have tried to impart the knowledge of the aftermath of, onto those that I love. And yet the one who knows me the best, has ignored me the most. And so the guilt sets in, because it was supposed to be me in charge. A last minute ditch, left a wide open window for bad decisions. And I know my dreams will be haunted because of it.



Late Tuesday night, Mikey broke the crappy blinds I had covering the window in my bathroom. While I have no neighbors across the way, many people, mostly men, feel uncomfortable using the "facilities" in front of a wide open window (hence the aforementioned breaking of the blinds). In any case, this incident lead me to find myself wandering around the bathroom section of target first just looking for new bathmats...bathmats lead to curtains...which lead to towels...which lead to a whole new litter box....which lead to me spending the greater part of this morning, screwing, unscrewing, tying, mopping, folding...Phew!


While fixing my morning coffee at the bakery...a gaggle of Bardies were standing over the baked goods, huddled around one girl, animatedly retelling the blow by blow recount of the delousing she experienced the night before., bialys, and bug larvae! No thanks!


Sweet sleep

I've been having a horrible time sleeping for weeks now. As soon as my eyes open once, regardless of the time, my inner monologue kicks in, and wrenches my insides, preventing any further peacefulness aka rest.
Last night I tried my "memory" technique though. Its simple. Repeat an idea, word, thought...that you want to remember still when you wake up the next morning, 10 times. I used "I will be ok tomorrow". Results?
Slept straight on through until noon. Could probably STILL be sleeping, if not for the rocket fuel coffee I am currently ingesting.

Top 10

Reasons I Love Tivoli:
1. Tim Voell
2. Going from a funeral to a redneck reunion in 5 minutes.
3. Getting to watch crappy VH1 tv shows with your friend at the bar when it's dead
4. 5am dance parties
5. The mansion
6. Spending two hours at the mansion on a Sunday evening with Russian imports and visitors from Chicago, all talking about penis size.
7. Waking up in the morning, and being literally surrounded by good friends.
8. The Bakery steps on a sunny Sunday
9. Christian Seder diners
10. Leaving your house with one plan in mind, and discovering a whole new path.

To Be Continued....



You just can't drink that shit away.


Count Down

In 16 minutes I turn 29. I love how much love exudes from this town! 29 will be a much better year than 28. And 28 was, emotionally, pretty fantastic! Funny how this time last year I couldn't afford a $50 ticket to a bad jam band show. And now...on unemployment...I'm buying concert tickets left and right. My, how we grow, and learn, and budget!
Love you all!
Welcome year 30! I'm ready!

Humina humina humina....

Totally coveting this bathroom!

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