I really just can't....

When I walked in tonight, all happy and stuffed from family Easter, I was not expecting the bomb that was dropped. And its too late to talk to my mom, or friends, because its 10:30 on a Sunday night, and yet my heart is broken. The landscape of my life has just dramatically changed and the forged images in my mind will not allow sleep, of that I am sure. Mistakes I have made, I have tried to impart the knowledge of the aftermath of, onto those that I love. And yet the one who knows me the best, has ignored me the most. And so the guilt sets in, because it was supposed to be me in charge. A last minute ditch, left a wide open window for bad decisions. And I know my dreams will be haunted because of it.